My Immortal
by Amethyst Jewels
Summary: What if Jerrica and Rio didn't end up as happily as I had written before? (Note: This is an ALTERNATE chapter to my story "Should I stay or should I go". So I suggest you read (or reread) it before reading this!)


I was humming this song while looking over my long hand notes for my Jem story & I saw this chappie & thought, "What If". So I revised, extended and added in content I took out from the original chapter, threw in the song & POOF! Here ya go! Enjoy!!  
  
Disclaimer: I know this song wasn't out in the 80s, but then again, most of the songs I used in the Jem story wasn't, so OH WELL. Also, the M&M's pizza place is mine (inside joke between me & a friend). It may not be as good as I hoped, but I hope you like it's been a while since I've written! Prom stuff & school.   
  
Also, it's early, but.....HAPPY EASTER!!!!  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
My Immortal  
  
Jerrica turned over and sat on the end of her bed. As she did, she was greeted with a "good morning kick" from her precious baby. She smiled and couldn't help but giggle a bit since the baby's been doing this every morning for the 6 months. After giving her rounded belly a "good morning pat", she got up and went to the bathroom.  
  
//I''m so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
  
And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
''Cause your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won''t leave me alone//  
  
At 8 months, Jerrica looked ready to give birth at any second. She was sad though. She wants the baby with all her heart, but she wanted Rio to share the joy with her. Ever since their split 6 months ago, she hasn't seen or heard from Rio.  
  
//These wounds won''t seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There''s just too much that time cannot erase//  
  
Jerrica counted her blessing every day though that she has her best friends, sister and the Starlight girls. Kimber, Aja, Shana and Raya threw her a wonderful baby shower last month and got her wonderful gifts. The best of all was the fully decorated nursery. Since they all found the baby was a girl, they decorated it in a wonderful pink and white with lots of stuffed animals, a rocking chair and a stereo with lullaby CDs. The Starlight girls all chipped in and brought a rocking cradle with a unicorn mobile. All they need now is the baby to put it in.  
  
Refreshed from her shower, Jerrica got dressed in a pair of black pants with a pink peasant top that was designed for a pregnant woman. She mostly wore these no since none of her clothes have fit in the past few months. She then noticed it was raining, much like the day when Rio broke up with her. Feeling those hurtful feelings well up in her again, she decided that she needed to let it out to someone she loved and trusted her whole life. Jerrica put on her trench coat, grabbed her umbrella and walks out of the Starlight mansion.  
  
She remember the day that she and Rio realized they split for good. He went to the office and dropped off all the stuff she had given him over the years and Jerrica gave back everything except one thing. A silver charm bracelet with a star charm on it. She always found it ironic because it was the same shape as her Jem star earrings. A foreshadowing of who she came to be. But that's not why she kept it.  
  
She could tell he noticed the bracelet, but didn't say a word. Perhaps he meant for her to keep it? She didn't know or care at the moment. She also didn't tell him about the baby. There was way too much going on to involve the baby in it. Maybe after things cooled down between them, Jerrica would tell him. However long it takes....  
  
//When you cried I''d wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you''d scream I''d fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me//  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Rio lays on his couch and played with the hem of his undershirt. He looked out at the clouded, rainy sky. Every time it rained, it reminded him of Jerrica's tears on the day he left her. It killed him a bit everyday since then and he hasn't done much except go to work and come home. He still has his job around KJEM and Starlight music as an electrician/manager mostly because Mr. Benton gave him the job, plus he didn't really see Jerrica, so there wasn't any friction. But there were memories...so many of them.  
  
He knew it was a big mistake to leave. He should have been more understanding, but he couldn't help but feel lonely all those times Jerrica wasn't with him. They were so close and then one day it was like she was never there. The worst part was when he threw Jem in her face and implied that he loved her.  
  
Nowadays he thought back to when they were in their late teens when they would date and hang around without a care in the world. Rio missed those times. Whether he and Jerrica were watching TV in his apartment, sitting in the park, or going to the pizza palace, he was just happy to be with her. Ever since her father died, she was doing promotions with Jem and tours, or helping the Starlight Girls. He did all he could to help out, mostly to be with Jerrica, but it didn't work out...  
  
//You used to captivate me  
  
By your resonating life  
  
Now I''m bound by the life you left behind  
  
Your face it haunts  
  
My once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice it chased awayAll the sanity in me  
  
These wounds won''t seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There''s just too much that time cannot erase//  
  
Of course he didn't love Jem! He only liked her because she reminded him of Jerrica. Yet he always thought deep down inside that Jerrica was really Jem, but he had no solid proof. Was he crazy to think that all the time? Rio was starting to think so.  
  
The one vivid memory he always had with him was the night he gave her a silver charm bracelet with a star charm. Usually girls go for the heart charm, but he knew that Jerrica loved stars and was convinced that she'd be one. On her 20th birthday he surprised her with the engraved bracelet. On the back of the charm in script it said "Rio Loves Jerrica". Rio saw Jerrica wearing it the day they gave each other their stuff back. He didn't make a fuss over it because he WANTED her to keep it. So have some part of him with her, because he always carried a piece of her with him.   
  
Rio never told Jerrica, but she was the 1st and only girl he gave himself to in body and soul. And after this rough time, he was sure that she would be the last.   
  
//When you cried I''d wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you''d scream I''d fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me....//  
  
Rio reached for the phone again. He wanted, no, NEEDED to call Jerrica. He heard about how she fell ill all those months ago, and almost broke down into calling, but didn't. He thought about her day after day. No matter how sunny it was outside, without Jerrica in his life, the days were all in shades of grey. Maybe they could start fresh and slow, maybe work up to the way they were and get better. But he didn't pick up the phone.   
  
Then, in the background of his apartment, the radio tuned onto KJEM, started to play a familiar song that bored itself into Rio's mind.  
  
How Ironic that "My Immortal" is playing. The Jerrica part of him would never die, but his heart did when they feel out the way they did. She was like a goddess in his visions, immortal, everlasting.....  
  
Still...Was it too late to ask Jerrica to forgive him? Should he even try even thought they haven't uttered a word in months? He needed more time to think. He decided to go talk to the one person he's trusted for years. The one who made him who he was today. After throwing on a T-shirt, tattered jeans and some sneakers, he walks out into the storm, letting the rain wash over him, hoping to cleanse his feelings.  
  
As he walked, he saw a flash of familiar blonde hair & blue eyes clouded by sadness. He ran thinking it was Jerrica,but it wasn't....as always. Jerrica was everywhere in his mind. Every photo, every woman was her. He couldn't let go.  
  
//I''ve tried so hard to tell myself that you''re gone  
  
But though you''re still with me  
  
I''ve been alone all along//  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Jerrica laid the flowers on her father's grave. Then she sat and told him about the baby and the break up. After planting a kiss on the headstone, she left with a promise to come back sooner with more baby news.  
  
Rio stood behind a tree while he listened to Jerrica talk to her father's grave. Even after death, she made time to talk to her father and then made it seem like he was still around, alive, and laughing. He can see that the father-daughter bond was still strong. Mr. Benton was like a father to him and he often stopped by to talk to him like he used to.   
  
But this time, he actually ran into Jerrica here for the first time since the funeral. He heard news about the baby. Then he realized that THIS is why she was sick those months ago and why she worked from home. He broke up with her the day she found out she was pregnant with his baby....THEIR baby.  
  
After Jerrica had walk down the cobblestone path and out the graveyard, he walked up to Matthew Benton's grave and read the headstone, like he did so many times before.   
  
Matthew George Benton  
  
1940-1985  
  
Beloved father, husband and friend  
  
In our hearts forever...  
  
"I know Matt, I messed up...big time....", Rio said as if he was talking face to face to him again. "Don't worry....I'll do right again....I promise. You know I love Jerrica and....I'll take care of her and her–OUR baby....".  
  
After saying a prayer, he walked out of the graveyard with a spark of hope in his heart that things might be the way they were. Turning down the street, he walked towards the Starlight Mansion just as the sun broke through the rain clouds.  
  
//When you cried I''d wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you''d scream I''d fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have...  
  
All of me....// 


End file.
